Tina's Freaky Fanfiction
by dearjenna
Summary: This began with "Sexy 60 Minutes," an erotic 60 Minutes Fanfiction, by Tina Belcher. It has turned into her collection of freaky fanfiction. Tina Belcher has a creative, sexy mind. These are her stories.
1. Sexy 60 Minutes

**Author's Note: **I've been toying with writing this for awhile, and finally I just had to do it after watching the episode of _Bob's Burgers_ with Tina's friend-fiction. This idea, and obviously the characters involved, does not originally belong to me. But I hope you enjoy this. This is Tina's story.**  
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"Sexy 60 Minutes"

By: Tina Belcher

It was an hour of news time, _60 Minutes_, as they called it. The crew were ready to begin taping an exciting episode where Charlie Rose interviews the Syrian president, but what Charlie Rose didn't expect was the one waiting for him backstage—and it wasn't the Syrian president.

Charlie Rose stepped out of his dressing room and was on his way to the set when someone grabbed his hand unexpectedly and led him down a corridor. It was Anderson Cooper, who was there because he was sexy and had a thing for Charlie Rose. Charlie Rose was scared and didn't know what to do. "Anderson Cooper, where are you taking me?" he asked.

Anderson Cooper smiled. "Don't worry, Charlie Rose," he replied. "I'm taking you on an adventure. A butt adventure."

The hall opened up to a large room and there were lots of men, shirtless, dancing. They were shaking their butts to the music, and most importantly, touching each other's butts. Anderson Cooper walked in with a cool swagger and did the guns to his friends while Charlie Rose walked behind him scared. "What is this place?"

"It's where you belong," Anderson Cooper said.

The music was infectious and soon Anderson Cooper was shaking his butt. He slowly took off his shirt and Charlie Rose watched, nervous. He hadn't been to a butt party before, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Anderson Cooper walked up to Charlie Rose and smiled to him before grabbing his butt. "Move your butt to the music, Rose. Don't be afraid."

The electricity of Anderson Cooper's touch caused Charlie Rose to start shaking it immediately. They shook their butts to the music all night long.

When the party was over, a majestic horse, Horselain, appeared and whinnied for the two of them. Shirtless Anderson Cooper and Charlie Rose got on top of the horse and rode away in the distance as the sun rose slowly over the horizon. They were on their way to find new lands with new butts.

The end.


	2. Erotic Garfield

"Erotic Garfield"

By: Tina Belcher

Lasagna. Lasagna everywhere. But when is there ever not lasagna everywhere? It's the messes you make when you're in love.

Garfield was just your ordinary cat, trying to make it in this ordinary time. His affinity for Italian cuisine, and his disgust with Arlene were just usually getting in the way of his first love: naps. Garfield couldn't resist the two, though. Especially if they showed up in pairs.

Arlene, the stray, gapped-tooth beauty that Garfield pretends not to love. But when she walks away, Garfield can't look away. It's actually kind of hard to resist a cat's butthole when they're walking away, though, because of their tail being up and stuff. I don't know if you've been in that position, but it's weird. It's like a vortex of sphincter.

Anyway, when Arlene knocked on the Arbuckle home door that evening, with a plate of steaming lasagna in her paw, Garfield forgot what insult he was going to hurl at her and instead let her in.

"You know, I'm not supposed to let _strays_ into the house," Garfield said in his usual, lazy way.

"You know, I told myself I wouldn't come here so late," Arlene said.

Arlene put the plate of food down on the counter. Garfield ate it. There were bits of lasagna in his fur. Arlene licked it up with her tongue. Garfield pretended not to like it, but he was too full to move.

"Thanks for the lasagna," Garfield said.

"Anytime," Arlene said.

The end.


	3. Sexy Sesame Street

"Sexy Sesame Street"

By: Tina Belcher

Sesame Street may have just been one street in town, but it was the only street that mattered to Big Bird.

By day, the street was covered in people and creatures, trying to make their way. Because there were shops and other things that they had to run.

By night, it was quiet. Except for the few who enjoyed a good time.

Big Bird was one of those good-timers.

The streetlights were on, which meant it was night. Which meant Oscar the Grouch had woken up from his nap. Grumpy, because he was always grumpy. But also in a good mood, because it was night.

Big Bird stamped his big-bird foot over the cigarette he finished smoking and watched Oscar the Grouch wake up and climb out of his trash can. Big Bird always thought he looked weird from the waist down, but maybe not that weird tonight.

"Hey, Oscar," Big Bird said to Oscar. "Good night out here."

"Could be better," Oscar the Grouch said, grouchily.

Big Bird looked around the street. There were just a few stragglers left before the night could start.

"Your mister showing up tonight?" Oscar the Grouch asked. Snuffleupagus. He meant Mr. Snuffleupagus.

"He'll be here soon," Big Bird said. "Are we headed to Elmo's again?"

"Only place to be at this time on Sesame Street," Oscar the Grouch said.

This time. Not to be confused with primetime, although they are similar.

A furry trunk hit against the back of Big Bird's bird-legs. Big Bird turned around. "Snuffy!" Big Bird said.

"Ready to go to Elmo's," Mr. Snuffleupagus said.

"Let's go buddy," Big Bird said.

Oscar stayed a few feet behind Big Bird and Mr. Snuffleupagus as they walked down the street to Elmo's home. Oscar didn't like to walk in front of Mr. Snuffleupagus' trunk. His trunk had a mind of its own. Big Bird didn't mind it, though.

Elmo's World was more than just an imaginary adventure for Elmo to go on during the day. It was also the scene on Sesame Street. It was their nightclub.

Inside Elmo's home the lights were low, and a laser show was going off in every direction. Elmo was at the back with his stereo, DJing the music. Pop music with an infectious beat that made everyone want to shake their butts.

Big Bird walked inside and took a look around at everyone. Mr. Snuffleupagus shook his butt, and Oscar the Grouch tried to get out of the way before he got hurt.

Once Mr. Snuffleupagus started shaking it, there was no stopping him. Snuffle Circle never got this crazy at night.

"There are a lot of faces tonight," Oscar the Grouch said. He seemed grouchy.

Big Bird couldn't help but notice how nice his green fur looked under the light show.

"Try to have a good time," Big Bird replied.

"Yeah!" Mr. Snuffleupagus said. Mr. Snuffleupagus bumped into Oscar the Grouch. Oscar the Grouch started shaking his hips to steady his balance. But soon the beat got to him, and he couldn't stop.

Big Bird noticed this and decided to dance with him. Their butts moved in perfect rhythm that night. And Mr. Snuffleupagus swung his trunk and hips everywhere.

The beat was so infectious, Elmo let the music play itself and joined in. Butts were shaking, music was beating, and hearts were jumping.

"I like your fur," Big Bird said over the music as they danced.

"What?" Oscar the Grouch asked.

"I said, I like your fur," Big Bird said.

"Oh," Oscar the Grouch said. He shook his butt more.

Big Bird liked Oscar the Grouch outside of his trash can. And he had a nice, furry butt.


End file.
